Dear school sorry i’m running a bit late, I just need to saw my son out the back of the chair

We were having a family meal the other day when one of the grandchildren GC5  turned around on her chair and put her knee through the vertical back slates, GC5 had plenty of room to do so but it reminded one of the older boys about the time my youngest C5 ran to look out of the window, he climbed up on a chair so he could see the mummy’s with their pushchairs outside walking along the pavement towards the local primary school at the end of the school day We were running very late ourselves to go and pick up his older siblings from the school. “Come on pickle” I says picking him up to put in the buggy, but the chair came along with him  along with an ear piercing howl, his knee had slid between the slates and was jammed fast, okay not a time to panic I tell myself reasonably, lets do this logically. I recalled something about turning everything upside down, not an easy  achievement I can tell you, okay that did not work at all, smear soap, wash up liquid, vegetable oil, getting desperate now I try the three in one black lubricating oil, now we were more than a little bit late. I phone the school “yes” this is Mrs S, “Can you please hang on to the kids for a bit, I just need to find a saw so I can cut my son out of the back of the chair”.Which I tried to make sound as a perfectly normal thing that anyone would be doing to their child at this time of day. I found a saw at the back of the shed under a ton of stuff, flustered because I couldn’t find the saw right away and flustered because I had to leave my child still attached to the chair while I continued to look for it. Then I proceeded to saw the wooden slate just below my young child’s tender knee cap. we arrived at school an hour late, C5 fast asleep after his escapade and me extremely red faced. When we got back I taped up the chair with black binding tape, when his dad got in he asked what we had done that day I said “Oh nothing much”. Then I told him about our escapade and we all had a good laugh.We finished recounting the story, and just as we were finishing our meal GD piped up “oh that was just like me, I got my knee stuck in the railings outside the flats when I was growing up and the fire brigade had to come and saw me out”. Well I guess C5 is even more like his dad than I thought .

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