|polishing brass scales and weights|
when I went back to work I unexpectedly got offered both jobs I applied for, I liked both jobs very much but the two together were too much. Not being able to make a decision I carried on with both getting more and more exhausted until over a bank holiday I just crashed. I made a decision and gave one job up, the one that brought me into more contact with aggressiveness than the other. Now I have less income but more soul peace. When I was ill I thought about my journey in this lifetime, I know the essentials of providing to live but there is a greater value than material comfort, that of the soul journey. This afternoon I picked cabbage from the garden to prepare for our evening dinner, I am home instead of going out to work again and the cabbage instead of wasting because it never got picked will be ready when family get in along with home made curry and brown rice, this is nourishment not just of the body but soul nourishment mine and theirs. When I went to the high street recently I saw hundreds of people with their faces set, all busy walking fast, not really seeing where they were or who they were with. When I paid for the groceries the sales girl gave no eye contact, and the whole time seemed as though no one was connecting to the moment they were in, existing yes, but not experiencing. I seem to shift between moments even hours and days of being awake to the moment, and then just drift into existing mode for periods of time. This blog then is a good way to remind me to stay awake, I can read it over and hopefully the light will stay on longer.I can go see my granddaughter swim now and mind her siblings when the parent evenings come around this month, I can babysit while my daughter goes child free to the dentist. I can enjoy the games the boys always want to play and do the crafts my eldest granddaughter is always after, like making soap, mosaic tile coasters and crochet squares, as a grandmother these are the things which define living a full life for me and I believe from being with them that the grandchildren too would rather spend time with their silly old grandparents than get more of things that often get relegated to shelves or closets as the fads pass so quickly and are soon just pieces of historic garbage.So what did I learn from the first half of this year, An hour spent with my husband while we share a cup of tea and shine brass, caught in the afternoon sun on a Tuesday afternoon is of more value and worth than any employer could ever pay me.