An Honest Post
Hi everyone, it has been a few weeks since I have written anything for the blog, I have been writing lots and drawing lots, being much more creative than usual in my meditation journal, positive, uplifting gratitudes, full of colour and life.
But it has been a different story when sitting down to begin a blog post.
I’v sat down umpteen times to write a new post but nothing came. I’v not been able to do anything except be in the moment, existing.
Truth is life is difficult at the moment and being a positive, ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ kind of girl it’s a bit tough to admit when even though I do view life with gratitude every moment of my day, I am also having to come to terms with some life readjustment, as my previously very healthy body is just not doing what it previously did anymore. So I am sitting with this new reality, looking out for what the blessing/lesson is I need to experience from this, but the reality of not hiking up Snowden next year or jumping in icy cold lakes from the rock edge, not even being able to do a yoga class without being tired out or spend a morning at the allotment without being wiped for the afternoon, is just plain hard sometimes. I can prattle on about how, ‘as long as I can still get in my kitchen and feed all the family and friends, who thankfully fill my days and seats at the kitchen table, i’ll be just fine’, but if i’m honest I am a little frightened and frustrated too and not just some days, often days too.
When I hear people changing plans because I wouldn’t be able to do whatever it is, or worse overhearing ‘well she wouldn’t have been able to do it anyways’ then i just want to jazz up my crutches and hobble or bum walk or whatever way I can do it and get up those hills or whatever the heck it is I supposedly can’t do anymore!. But I also want to be graceful and not rally too much against what will be.
As yet I don’t know exactly what is happening to my body, I do know that this totally holistic ‘nature heals’ gal, (and of course nature is a supreme healer), has had to allow for some very different medical interventions to happen. Someone I admire recently was posting about how they had never been to a doctor and how vit c and long walks will cure anything, and I just thought how very fortunate they were to have not needed medical intervention as yet and I hope for them it will remain so, but now for me I need to come to terms with that is not the whole story. And as much as I will be seeking out a functional medicine doctor as well after my next hospital appointment and doing all that I can holistically, I am mighty thankful to all the doctors and nurses in Cornwall who have been and still are more than kindly and tremendously efficient in all they have done and are doing for me.
I am hoping now I have actually written something to get my mojo back for the blogging and get typing away again and I do hope you all forgive me for having taking a little bit of time out.
Love and Light to everyone:-