Mindful Meditation Thoughts
I have been trying to set aside time each day to meditate, it has always confused me a little as to how go about this practice, or what exactly is mindful meditation?.
I have been in an autoimmune flare recently so I resolved to delve deeper into mindfulness practices as theses are said to greatly improve both mental and body function, helping to lift mood and calm inflammation, therefor lowering pain.
Mindfulness meditation involves focusing your mind on your experiences, such as your emotions, thoughts and the sensations you feel in the present moment. It usually includes awareness of breath and breathing practice, mental imagery, awareness of body and mind and muscle and body relaxation.
I had a few days I was especially restricted on walking and found it was far easier for me to be disciplined in my dedication to practice, as I have come out of my flare I find myself filling my days with every other activity except actual dedication to mindfulness, which I am endevouring to overcome, I do catch myself though more often stopping my activity to open my eyes and heart to that which I am actually experiencing.
I thought I would like to write down some of my experiences both to share and also to remind myself of how living life in with mindful awareness is like seeing the world with different eyes and every second as complete and utter miracles.
I sat at the little table tucked in by the radiator, the warmth pumped out and wrapped itself around my trunk, it warmed my kidneys. I looked out through the large panes of glass of the french doors that lead out onto the garden, through them I saw the wind playing with the polythene of the mini greenhouse and the black covers over the two bikes billowing and deflating, in response to its buffeting by the wind. It was then I noticed the wonderful display of shooting stars formed by the rain droplets that had been thrown at an angle across the left hand pane, for all the world looking like a night sky of shinning stars, and every now and then one would run like a shooting star in the heavens. The miraculous in the mundane, what an amazing world.
I have looked at the door a thousand times and never before I realized had I looked and really ‘seen’ this door. I was first drawn to the eyes, beautifully deep whirls that spiraled like galaxies until they darkened at the center. Four eyes that ran that ran along the same grain of wood that edged the door. Then the were the tall grass like stripes of deep veins that settled in the lower left quadrant panel, the door being divided into four panels by a central cross. The upper right contained a tree in itself, a tall curving, flaming, tree that spilled out in trailing branches like a fountain at the top. There were diagonal repeating swirls of lines that looked like waves rolling in from the sea and others that looked like sand dunes in the dessert. And then there were the finger prints, twirls and swirls of differing clusters that spoke to me saying, this is who I am, I breath. I am me.
I struck the match, I heard the scratching sound of sulfur against the friction side of the box, a faint smell hit my olfactory senses as my sight registered the combustion of the match head into flame, it flared then petered a little as it struggled to maintain its volume, it wavered, then steadied and settled. I noticed the wood of the match, felt it, as I twirled it slightly between my middle finger and thumb which held it captive. I brought the wick of the tea light up to meet the flame and once alight I blew out the flame of the match with my breath. I noticed how my lungs filled with the intake of breath and then with lips pursed, a short, sharp breath out extinguishes the light, but now another flame was alight.
I awoke this morning around half past six and just listened to the noises of the house, the hum of the air filter and the freezer reached my ears, my husband stirred in his sleep and his breathing changed, the duvet rustled, something creaked, was it the floorboards?, I don’t know.
I brushed my teeth, unscrewed the metal lid from the pot of natural white grey chalk like paste, loaded the head of my electric toothbrush, then as always began behind my lower front teeth, to the left of my mouth, then right, then upper right, then over the front and up and down behind.
I filled up the chicken hopper with some corn kernel, orange against the gloom of an overcast morning, it is still only first light, the wind blows around my parker, the fur of the hood wraps around my face, it feels cosy all wrapped up, I peek through the soft golden fur and hurry back into the kitchen where the light is inviting.
Woke to the sound of rain lashing against the window pane, the wind making whirring noises as it whipped the droplets like waves on a stormy beach. The duvet felt heavy and secure, I didn’t want to get up yet so I laid and listened in the early hour to natures energies.
I decided to begin brushing my teeth at the top front today to raise awareness of the autopilot function, I noticed how my hand and arm was moving differently to accommodate the different angle, I noticed the flat of the molar teeth as the brush head found them, I noticed I didn’t want to shock my mouth with its habitual cold water rinse so I warmed the water first and my mouth was thankful. I also listened to my body as it seeked for the ‘Sarken’ paste as its preference.
I listen to ‘Song of the butterfly’ by Istvan sky, I feel the music begin to vibrate within my heart and in my bones.
I listen to ‘Impossible shamanic voice’, I sense I am sitting on the ground, the earth spreads out beneath me, I feel energy, it is all around, over the land, encircling the entire body of mother Gaia. I can feel light running through my body from the top of my crown, it runs down through my body, it meets with energy from the earth, I feel infinity of the universe in a single cell, time in not linear. There is no I ,there is just love and just peace.
I have enjoyed my first week of meditation and I definitely feel as though my mood has lifted and I feel more connected to my essence and more supported by the universe, as though it has my back.
I hope you have enjoyed my sharings, blessings to you.